Dreamt of my father

Driving me to school.

As an adult (me, that is).

Yeah.

I remembered lots of strange detail, and lots of "how things were", but now with adult and subconscious eyes.

His car was in a poor state - running so low on battery we had difficulty moving uphill and needed to "recharge" it by running without air-cond for a bit. Yes, it doesn't make sense, but it's my dream so whatever.

His driving was as scary as ever - I had to hold the steering for a while while he searched for some documents in his bag. I don't think he ever really did that, but he was a scary driver. Lots of close calls, I wonder what he really saw even though he seemed to always concentrate on the road.

Now a banal sidetrack before ending with decent emotional impact. I was late to school, which was in a huge, converted bungalow (recently moved); I remembered not knowing if I had PE that day, yet later pulling out my timetable from a bag that couldn't fit a file that big. I remembered thinking that I could sneak a smoke before going into school but didn't want to smoke in front of my dad.

I couldn't find my class (recently moved, remember), so I wandered around a bit. I saw old but not close faces: Aeric, Ramona. I was definitely an adult, with the confidence I never had 15 years ago. WTF I was doing back in secondary school, I have no idea. For double WTF impact, this was not an unfamiliar dream, which means that I've dreamt about being in school as an adult before.

What I remembered most was the care, concern and love in my father's voice, which I could never hear in my youth. Not that it wasn't there - it was constantly drowned out by all the noise. He almost never dropped me off anywhere, and we didn't get to spend much time together; what little we did tended to be distracted by selfish, attention-seeking third parties. And of course, I was too young and dumb to see.

Good to see you, dad.

I love you, too.

But no, thanks - I don't want to go back to school.