Raw
(Note that "tonight" refers to last night: that's what happens when your internet connection goes dodgy and bloody TMnet can't diagnose the problem accurately)
It happened tonight. Tonight, I looked into the mirror, in the restrooms of Pentas 1's Dressing Room 3, wiping my face. It hit me right there, as I dried my face the way I always do - this is last year, +1. The Earth has swung a full circle around the Sun since that time I thought, hey wow I think I could do this for the rest of my life.
The setting: Tunku the Musical is in its final week of rehearsals before we open this Saturday night to a fully-sold house. We've just seen our costumes, and did less-than-half a tech run tonight. The past month's been hectic - finalising movements, learning our last songs, sorting out the technical details - and with little rest. It's been 6 days a week for the past 5 weeks, except one little break last week where it was 5 days a week. Yes we call it a break.
I think it's safe to say we're tired. Physically, from being on stage and on the ball almost every night. Mentally, from being alert and planning our moves almost every night. Emotionally, from giving our all and putting up with a lot almost every night. Lately it's been the little things that are falling in place that are keeping us going strong - the wonderful orchestra (I am a huge fan of strings, especially the cello, and the timpani), the gorgeous lighting, the unconventional-yet-striking set, the stunning costumes. And of course, the sheer buzz of an audience - that's magic.
Me, personally? I'm exhausted, but I think I've learned a good lesson about myself today. I haven't done much, though I believe what I've done, I've done well - and I'm unhappy. It seems that somewhere, sometime, I picked up a 'quantity better than quality' mindset, and it bared itself from whichever crevice it was hiding in. It explains very well why I always end up trying so hard to multi-task, which usually means that none of those multiple tasks get finished (or well).
But I just feel raw at the end of rehearsals now. Somewhat numb from the rollercoaster of it all. Well it makes for a good tired, doesn't it? I do so love it.
It happened tonight. Tonight, I looked into the mirror, in the restrooms of Pentas 1's Dressing Room 3, wiping my face. It hit me right there, as I dried my face the way I always do - this is last year, +1. The Earth has swung a full circle around the Sun since that time I thought, hey wow I think I could do this for the rest of my life.
The setting: Tunku the Musical is in its final week of rehearsals before we open this Saturday night to a fully-sold house. We've just seen our costumes, and did less-than-half a tech run tonight. The past month's been hectic - finalising movements, learning our last songs, sorting out the technical details - and with little rest. It's been 6 days a week for the past 5 weeks, except one little break last week where it was 5 days a week. Yes we call it a break.
I think it's safe to say we're tired. Physically, from being on stage and on the ball almost every night. Mentally, from being alert and planning our moves almost every night. Emotionally, from giving our all and putting up with a lot almost every night. Lately it's been the little things that are falling in place that are keeping us going strong - the wonderful orchestra (I am a huge fan of strings, especially the cello, and the timpani), the gorgeous lighting, the unconventional-yet-striking set, the stunning costumes. And of course, the sheer buzz of an audience - that's magic.
Me, personally? I'm exhausted, but I think I've learned a good lesson about myself today. I haven't done much, though I believe what I've done, I've done well - and I'm unhappy. It seems that somewhere, sometime, I picked up a 'quantity better than quality' mindset, and it bared itself from whichever crevice it was hiding in. It explains very well why I always end up trying so hard to multi-task, which usually means that none of those multiple tasks get finished (or well).
But I just feel raw at the end of rehearsals now. Somewhat numb from the rollercoaster of it all. Well it makes for a good tired, doesn't it? I do so love it.
posted by Jo at 2:55 pm
1 Comments:
i hear you, my fried! sometimes i feel like butter being spread over an entire loaf. and you despise yourself for your half-arseness: yet we keep doing what we do. Another thing to learn with age perhaps? Good luck & have fun this weekend!
Post a Comment
<< Home